Ode To The Road

A Glimpse At Tour Life with Riverboat Gamblers, Dead To Me, and Off With Their Heads

Our good friend Karl Mathisen happens to know some folks in some high places. Karl is currently tour managing for one of the raddest, hardworking punk rock bands around in Riverboat Gamblers. The guys are in the thick of their Ol’ Smash and Grab Tour across the U, S, of A. For those of you still convinced that the life of a touring musician is full of groupies, glamour, and green – think again dipshit. Here is round one. We’re pretty sure Karl will squeeze out a few good stories from the weirdos across this great nation.

 7-6-11 San Diego, CA- the first show of tour is always a fucking blast, everyone is fresh and excited. We are playing The Casbah, a great up close and personal venue. Not surprisingly…its packed. Underground Railroad To Candyland…based out of San Pedro, Ca, are on the 5 California shows with us. The majority of us haven’t heard them up to this point…let me just say, they are out of left field and amazing. Since this is a co-headlining tour, the headliner will change each night, for the most part.

7-7-11 Los Angeles, CA- We stopped off in Costa Mesa, on our way to LA. Costa Mesa is home to Volcom Clothing/Volcom Ent. After meeting shortly with the Record label reps, we proceeded to rape the clothing warehouse. Tonight’s show is at the Troubadour, what else is there to say? The show of course, went off. We always do great in California. Good to see that a bunch of Volcom people made it to the show. Mark Gardner’s (of Volcom) birthday party coincided with th a LA stop – bananas to say the least.

7-8-11 San Francisco, CA- Did I mention that its cold as fuck? Dead To Me is based here. Thee Parkside is sold out, no big. Brian Ziel, Micky Dunegan, and the rest of their crew came up from Santa Cruz to see us. These guys are the epitome of the word friend. After the show we drove to stay with some friends for the night. The house/apartment looked like hell…fucking slobs. You pay out the ass to live in San Francisco, and u live like a pig? I don’t get it.

7-9-11 San Luis Obispo, CA- Why the fuck are we playing here, and not Santa Cruz? Unless you’re a white reggae band, you won’t draw for shit here. The 40 people who came out had a good time. The best part of my night you ask? There is another bar upstairs from the venue playing club music. From the merch booth you can see pretty much see up the tiny skirts of girls walking up to that club. Boner all night.

7-10-11 Sacramento, CA- We left SLO after the show to drive up to Santa Cruz and stay the night at Micky’s. Why the fuck are we playing Sacramento and not Santa Cruz? We met with up with Steve Hall, Black Pacific’s (Jim Lindburg formerly of Pennywise’s new project) sound engineer and Tour Manager. The bar we are at feels like a bar you would find back in Texas. Im going to leave this vague…but at one point Rob said “Karl I love you, can u please lock me in the van now”. You do the math.

7-12-11 Portland, OR- Portland is an interesting city. Very beautiful, however sketchy, with tons of vices and strip clubs. So here’s the deal – A few of us are single, a few of us have girlfriends. We never really go to  strip clubs or similar type establishments, for a couple of reasons.

1. The guys with girlfriends are good dudes and respect the fact that they are in relationships with women who love and trust them.

2. Those of us who are single are fucking perverts and get into enough trouble without needing to step foot in places like that, or have to pay money for girls to take their clothes off.

So after the show RBG, DTM, and OWTH all go to Lucky Devil club because we heard about something called “Tiny Tuesday”. We didn’t know what to expect, but we knew it would be rad either way. All we were told was that every girl dancing that night was 5 ft. or shorter. Honestly, it didn’t sound cool to me at all, I was picturing midgets with weird features and stubby fingers. We walked in, and immediately lost our fucking minds! Here were all these GORGEOUS, petite “Fun Size” women. It was the greatest thing ever, especially cause all 3 bands were there to experience it together. This full nude establishment severely screwed some of us (ME and ROB) up.

7-13-11 Seattle, WA- I think “Tiny Tuesday” broke something in my brain. My last sense of decency is gone. it doesn’t help that everyone keeps talking about it. The show was at El Corazon. Solid turn out. Don’t have any time to enjoy the city. We play Boise, ID tomorrow and want to try to take a dent out of the drive.

7-14-11 Boise, ID- after the show last night we drove three hours to Yakima, WA and got there around 5 A.M. Got a couple rooms, but half the guys are so fucked up that they wouldn’t wake up, which means I get a bed to myself for a few hours. Ian and Fadi get to the room at 8 A.M., still totally fucked up – I cant help but laugh. We are now totally running late. Sam got food poisoning and has been peeing out of his butt all day, along with the time change that we kinda forgot to account for, has really fucked up our time management. The boys aren’t too stoked on this show, or being in Boise period. I keep telling them “Boise kicks ass AND there’s a shit load of hot chicks”. Well…there weren’t many girls at the show, but the bar was packed. Figures.

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